"I
KNOW WHY DADDY DRANK"
I
know why Daddy drank. Such knowledge
eluded me as a narrow-minded, ignorant youth who so quickly condemned the
morose-eyed monster that made life a terror.
I so often had joined the many on shore raving in hurt and anger at the
drunkard. Were we wrong? No, not completely because he did create a
living hell in the home. His drinking
denied us the very basic necessities of life; food, clothes, house, securities
and more than all of that, it gave us a lasting fear we would be like him.
However,
as I have grown, a measure of maturity had been added and not without a price
of personal suffering. I neither now
condone nor condemn the man. The act is
still hated and I often wonder just what all else this man did that I never
knew about. Alcoholism is both a sin and
a disease. Dad was a weak sinner whether
he drank or not. I remember the small
prosperities and peace when he abstained for any length of time. It was so wonderful that we dismissed all the
former charges against him and hope kicked in for a new ear...until for some
unknown reason the plague would start again.
We
were all victims. Every family member
and friend would be hurt by the liquored up old man. Dr. Jekyll was soon forgotten and Mr. Hyde
began his reign of horror on the innocent members of the Sparks family. This is all painfully true, with greater
detail yet to come but let me return to my original statement. I know why daddy drank.
It
began as a thirteen year old boy. He was
lean, dark and quite handsome. Add to
that the tremendous talent he possessed as a musician, tap-dancer, comedian and
singer. I suppose like any other young
man he yearned for the approval of his father.
Richard Napoleon Sparks was an unpleasant man, who owned a mean
disposition which made him a threat to his wife and sons. Only someone void of conscience would take
his 13 year old son and make him a drinking buddy. The hard whiskey no doubt burned his throat
the first few swallows then later the systems began adapting to the sour mask
taste as the body cravings start. It
doesn't take long to get hooked when you're a boy and cheap whiskey
deliberately is shoved at you at home.
Thus, his life as an alcoholic began at a young age at home. His mother, Irene, was a weak, cowered down
person who was helpless to defend her children.
It is certain her body bore the bruises to prove her lack of defense but
in those days a woman was out matched by a controlling husband. Dysfunctional people seem to produce a
dysfunctional and that may explain Waymon Levi Sparks drinking to a
degree. But there is more, much more to
be said.
In
the 1920's and 1930's the booze flowed like a stream and dance clubs sprang up
everywhere. Getting work was hard unless
you could entertain, that's where Dad made his bread and butter. The clubs were also places to meet the wrong
people who use and abuse others. With
the country in a depression liquor and laughter made folk forget for a while
that they were poor. As W.L. or
nicknamed "Sparky", would play at these clubs, his appetite for women
and whiskey grew. The lax lifestyle
became the character building blocks for the rest of his life. Use people, lie, borrow and don't repay, dirty
language, vulgar humor and drink daily.
Above all else, have a good time and work only when needed. He relished in his ability to con people who
were awed by his talent and personality.
He was a type "A plus" by modern terms, over flowing with
energy, wit and the bigger the crowd, the more effervescent he became. It is interesting to note how much of Dad
inhabits my life, which I cannot deny.
However, I will later address that issue as to how both good and bad
trickle down the same genetic spout into the children. We are, after all, a sum total of our
finitude or birth (where we came from) and the choices we have made in life
only colored by the early atmosphere of home.
Even that is a result of parents.
Parents have love but know what it means or how to give it properly. The
Bible is the ingredient that changes all the above principles. The buck stop long enough to give God a
chance to change him. He became more
like himself everyday of his life.
In
the late thirties and early forties, America moved from depression to
patriotism. War touched every family and
most men who could stand up right, hold a gun and cigarette were drafted. Sparky also was drafted but he was too old to
go over-seas, so he became a cook. He
loved military life. A clean uniform and
food to eat with lots of pals and weekend partying. He rose to tech sergeant fairly easily due to
his age and personality. All criticisms
aside he was a decision maker and could lead if needed, though the direction
might be questioned due to drinking.
It
was during this period of time that soldiers were writing letters to folk back
home and local papers were publishing them.
Home town and country girls would write the GI's and fantasize about a
Gary Cooper type responding. A young
Irish girl named Iona Fay Murray saw the letter of a Waymon L. Sparks in her
local paper. No age, no background, no
character references, just an "I'm lonely, please write." She did, and the rest is the story of a
thirty year storm that never totally subsided till cancer beat the life out of
Sparky's body at age 66.
